No matter how lonely you are, no matter how alone, sooner or later you are going to have to talk to someone. Small talk. It happens every day, often without us noticing it. What I am suggesting is that you need to prepare for this. You need to have in your artillery Positive Talk. Things and topics that you can guide a conversation toward. If you are going to talk about the weather, make sure it is partly sunny and not partly rainy. It is a habit to have positive talk. You can learn it.
It will help if you break it down. Think of it this way… When we talk we speak of either Past, Present or Future. From now on be prepared to talk this “up”. Think of the three P’s. Pride, Passion and Promise. They correspond to past, present and future.
Pride is talking positively about your Past. What are you proud of? What have you done in the past that brings a smile to your face? This can be anything from getting your driving license to getting up early this morning.
Passion is talking positively about your Present. What excites you, what are your hobbies, what TV program are you avidly watching?
Promise is talking positively about your Future. What are your plans, what are your aspirations, where will you be in a year? This is more than a to do list, this is a bucket list. What do you want to accomplish in the future? You can think of it as a day, a week, a month, a year. Having life goals is a great exercise.
Here’s where it impacted on my life:
I have only made one serious suicide attempt. I took a hefty over dose and went to lie down in my bed and wait for death to come over me. I had brushed my hair, I wore a lovely night dress – I would be a beautiful corpse when they found me. As I lay there my mind was over thinking. Eventually I began to take stock of my life. I realized I had plenty in my past to be proud of – I had excelled at school, I had done well at several jobs, I had nurtured many friendships. I also realised I had much to look forward to. I promised myself I would find a husband, I would have a couple of kids, and I would succeed in my acting career. I would even have a dog. My problem as I lay there was my Present. I had no Passion. I had no driving force. But I then I had a positive thought – I have had a great past to reflect upon, and I have a great future to look forward to, surely this present problem will past. And it did. Because as I lay there, I found some Present Passion. Food. I was hungry. I wanted to get up and have some cereal. I also had a passion about my mom, she was my indomitable support. I loved her so much. Bingo – I adored Bingo, I played three times a week. Realizing that I had the three P’s, I had pride, passion and promise, I had POSITIVITY, is what got me up out of my bed and off to hospital.
Now it may seem odd that I tie in small talk with a suicide attempt, but I believe that it’s the little actions we do every day that have great consequence. I continue to have Pride, Passion and Promise and I continue to have Positive Talk. Give it a go; you might discover something about yourself.
Have a great day. In Recovery Me.
About the Author – Kate Hull Rodgers is an expert by experience. She has been mentally ill since 1986, more than 30 years. She is diagnosed as bi polar and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) Every day she battles to be in recovery, many days she wins. She speaks in corporate workplaces with her company www.humourus.co.uk. She has spoken in 29 countries. Also she runs Stepping Stone Theatre for Mental Health www.steppingstonetheatre.co.uk with her husband, Bill- and she is still happily married. Mustn’t forget, she is the proud mother of Harvey and Dominic – and the dog, Zebbie.